The She’s Brave Podcast

Self-Confidence Coaching and Self-Care: Valentine’s Day for Self-Love

Are you exhausted and want to run away just to take care of yourself?

 

To have just a little bit of time and peace for yourself? And Valentine's Day is just the day to take that break and show yourself some love. Well, this episode is for you. 

 

Love is in the air, it's February and you either love it or hate it. Valentine's Day may be a day you love to celebrate, and you are excited to give and receive candy and chocolates. Going out to a nice candlelit dinner in a dress that makes you feel your best, and spending it with the person or people you love, whether that is a significant other, friend, child, or yourself. Or you might hate it and the commercialization of love, the pressure to give the right gift, or just sadness that you maybe don’t have a significant other to celebrate with. 

 

The new trend has been Galentines, where women celebrate with their best girlfriends or even a self-care day. 

 

Now, I love love. Love is my thing, It is one of the most essential things for life. I think we, at times, misunderstand love though.

 

If I asked you how you love yourself, what would you say? I imagine you thinking of bubble baths and taking days off work to rest, getting yourself some flowers, treating yourself to a trip to the mall, getting a nice relaxing massage, or taking yourself to your favorite restaurant. I’m relaxed just thinking about it. Wouldn’t we all love a day full of such indulgence and relaxation, I know I would. 

 

These are ways we can show ourselves love, however, these are just the tip of the iceberg, things we can do on the surface.

 

When we look deeper, self-love and self-care are these daily deeper, more intentional choices we make. They might not always be pretty or easy for that matter, but it will take you out of this yo-yo feeling of constantly feeling like you’re running on empty and these surface-level self-care things just not cutting it. 

 

For a more permanent solution, try these... because true self-love requires us to sometimes do hard things and fight for ourselves. 

 

Self-love requires honesty…

 

Self-love requires us to be honest about what we want and need. And not what we think we want or need or what we should want or need, but truly what helps us foster a sense of self-care and being taken care of. To take care of ourselves, we first need to look at what it is we need to take care of ourselves daily. That means being honest about when we’re tired and need to take a break, and when we are not able to show up emotionally and physically for others, and the people and things we need in our lives to feel supported and taken care of. What is it that you need?

 

Self-love requires us to set boundaries...

 

Self-love requires us to say no in order to honor what we want and need. To honor our energy, not run ourselves into the ground, and give away more than we have, we have to set boundaries. That means also being ok with disappointing others when we set our boundaries, say no, and put into action what truly takes care of us.

 

Self-love requires us to let others lend a hand...

 

Self-love acknowledges that things aren’t all on us. We don’t have to hold it all in or hold it together and do and be everything to everyone. To truly take care of ourselves requires us to take off the mask and ask for help, let others know that we can’t do it alone and need their help. This sometimes is the hardest part of self-care. In letting ourselves and our struggles fully be seen, by showing up and being real about our struggles, and leaning on others for support, it brings us closer to us and our needs being met.

 

With self-confidence coaching, these are the hard things I help my clients do every day. To have true self-care and self-love is an amazing feeling and a freedom that requires you to show up daily to support what you want and need.

Love is a choice that you make day to day in each choice and action you take. A choice to take care of you.

 

If you have a hard time showing yourself love, grace, and kindness, then self-confidence coaching or self-esteem or self-esteem counseling in Chicago (we’re also available online) may be the next step for you. You don’t have to solve this on your own. Book a complimentary session, during that session, I will help you see what may be getting in your way of building your confidence.

 

What has been the result of you not taking care of yourself? That may look like being overcommitted, being resentful in your relationships, this build-up of anger, feeling like you don’t matter, and feeling like you have the lower hand in your relationships. All things that don’t support self-care or self-love. I’d love to hear, simply comment or shoot me an email.

 

Happy Valentine's Day.. How will you show yourself some love this month?

 

Self Confidence Coaching

Standing Up For YOU As An Introvert

On this episode of She’s Brave we’re joined by Celena McBryde, a heart healing speaker, coach, author, and the visionary woman behind The Introverts Heart. Celena is dedicated to helping individuals elevate their lives with that "EXTRA" and transform an ordinary existence into an EXTRAordinary journey. She’s also the founder of the Hearties fellowship group, where she brings people together virtually to combat loneliness and offer support, hope, and encouragement.

 

Even though Celena is an introvert, she knows what it’s like to become too isolated—and the unhealthy coping mechanisms it can lead to. Finally, she said “yes” to what God had been calling her to do, and everything changed. She started reaching out to others and realized how much they were in need of the connection and compassion she was looking for too.

 

It may not seem like it when you first meet her, but Celena has been through a lot in her life. She’s been through rehab and substance abuse issues, she’s gotten a DUI, and she spent a lot of time looking for validation from other people.

 

But if anything, her experiences have taught her that your experiences don’t define you. It’s what is in your heart that matters. You are enough, and you don’t need to earn it, even if you are different from those around you.

 

Just because introverts don’t say something doesn’t mean they don’t see or understand what’s going on. Learning to express herself and stand up for what she needs has helped her curb her people pleasing behaviors, and she encourages others who struggle in the same way to put themselves first too.

 

 

Connect with Celena

 

Website: www.introvertsheart.com

 

Social media (Instagram, FB, YouTube, TikTok): @TheIntrovertsHeart

 

How to Ask for What You Want

Are you tired of feeling like people walk all over you or that your needs aren't important? How often do you ask for what you want? Or does the thought of that makes you want to go running for the hills. 

Continuing on with our stepping out of your comfort zone theme for this month, I want to talk about asking for what you want and more specifically how to ask for what you want. 

 

Blog Post: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-what-you-want

Book Complimentary Call:https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

How to Break the Habit of Avoiding Confronation

We’ve all been there, had the pit in our stomach when we wanted to speak up, let someone know that they’ve crossed the line, or ask for what we want. But we rationalize not speaking up  in our head, “It’s not a big deal, “ “I’m overreacting”, or “It’s not worth all the trouble”. We make ourselves believe that it's just a one-time thing or that the other person will respond negatively. You have so much anxiety about the whole thing so you keep quiet and don’t say anything. And of course, with all the mental hubbub going on in your head, most people would brush these things off.

But where has that led you?

How to Overcome Low Self Esteem and Insecurities

If you’ve followed along on this insecurity series then you know we’ve talked about what insecurity is, and where it may have come from, and now for our final post, we’re talking about how to overcome low self-esteem and insecurities.

 

Let’s Connect!:

Website: www.aworthyjourneytc.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/aworthyjourneytc

Blog: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/

Book a Complimentary Call: https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

What Are the Causes of Insecurity?

Ok if you’ve read my posts about signs of insecurity you’re probably wondering what in the heck are the causes of insecurity and what do you do about it. Again, follow along this month as we break the last question down but for now, let's talk about what causes insecurity. 

 

Let's Connect!:

Website: www.aworthyjourneytc.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/aworthyjourneytc

Blog: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/

Book a Complimentary Call: https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

What is Insecurity?

Ever had that knot in your stomach, overwhelmed, anxious, sweating, unsure feeling? If so, you my friend have experienced being insecure. Insecurity can be a fleeting feeling, one that just comes around every now and then or it can be something that has become ingrained, deeply entrenched in you, and wreaking havoc on your life, your self-esteem, and your goals. 

If you fit in the latter description then this post is for you and the next few weeks are for you because we’re not only going to be answering questions like, “What is insecurity?” but why do you feel insecure, and what can you do about it.

Charmaine’s Story: From Feeling Not Good Enough to Deciding To Love Herself

In today's episode, I welcome guest Charmaine Moore. Charmaine is here to talk about building confidence, learning to be brave, and what it takes to transform your life. She is the founder of Face of Hope and Beauty Lifestyle Coaching.  In addition to that, Charmaine is also a wife, mother, inspirational speaker, self-love queen, and advocate for suicide prevention. Her mission is to empower women to stand in pace and power while enjoying the life that they live. She shares openly and honestly about a pivotal point in her life in 2014, two days before Mother's Day, when a decision she made changed her life profoundly.

Charmaine understands first-hand how challenging learning to love yourself can be. She has experienced depression, anxiety, rejection, and abandonment, as well as physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As a suicide survivor, she aims to help other women through Face of Hope and Beauty to transform their lives.

She shares the tools that she has found helpful in this transformation, such as showing yourself grace, using affirmations, seeing a therapist, practicing self-acceptance, and more.

It's important to know that you don't have to be perfect, and to give yourself permission not to be. Part of being brave is vulnerability, and vulnerability is accepting the parts of yourself that aren’t perfect. Be brave enough to show all parts of yourself.

Charmaine wants to reaffirm that you matter, and she encourages you to remind yourself of that. You can redefine yourself and write your own story. Reach out to someone you trust if you need help.

 

Connect with Charmaine:

Website: https://faceofhopeandbeauty.com

Instagram: @faceofhopeandbeaty

 

Connect with Tiffany:

Website: https://www.aworthyjourneytc.com/

Instagram: @aworthyjourneytc

 

Disclaimer:

In today’s podcast we talk about suicide, suicide ideations and thoughts of suicide. If this is something you struggle with this interview may be triggering for you and you may want to skip this episode. Reach out to a mental health counselor or the below resources for support if this is something that you struggle with as well.

 

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 988

Suicide Prevention Website: https://988lifeline.org/

Find A Therapist- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

 

Solo Trip: If interested, complete the below form if you are interested in stepping out of your comfort zone and doing a solo trip.  

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfGJ28YWYJRoDM3o9Mkt_E7X0PrCqgg-WHJXckA6K8RlR_lAg/viewform?usp=sf_link

Confidence Myths that Won’t Build Your Confidence

Girl alright so I didn't want to get started on this subject but I will. There is so much going around about confidence. We get advice like, ‘Fake it until you make it’ ‘Stand up tall’ ‘Walk into the room like you own it’  ‘All you need is the perfect outfit and makeup’  “Its all the shoes, what shoes you wear is an indicator of how much money you make”. 

 

And this is all wrong. And it leads us to believe that as long as our external appearance is taken care of and we're “pretending” to be confident then we will.  Yes, when you look good you do feel good and yes some of these things will help be SUPPLEMENTS to your confidence, but they aren't the foundation. Sorry in advance for the rant I’m about to make.

 

Want me to tell you what actually builds our confidence?  It is knowing and OWNING who you are, speaking your mind, and letting others know your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It's speaking up and standing by your own thought and opinions even when others disagree and it may be scary to speak up. It's having boundaries, limits, and standards for yourself. It is living your values and honoring them day to day in your daily actions, words, and behaviors. It is being assertive and standing up for your right to be who you are, respected, loved, and honored as you are now. 

 

It is creating your own path and trusting yourself that you will catch yourself if you fail. It is knowing your worth is not tied to anything or anyone external to you. It is knowing that only you and no one else can validate your worth. It is speaking up and showing up for yourself every single day. It is showing who you are to others even when it feels scary, vulnerable or you fear rejection. It is expressing and honoring your wants and needs. It is being kind to yourself and giving youse self grace. It is knowing that what you think and feel about yourself is the ONLY opinion that matters. It is taking risks. It is having integrity. 

 

And it's not a quick fix or overnight success, It takes work and practice. It takes failing and falling but never giving up on yourself. It takes persistence. It is a continuous process and by no means easy. But is possible and with practice, you can get there.

 

I know because I’ve gone through this journey myself and each and every day provides me an opportunity to practice the things above. The things we don't realize is that each time we make a decision it can hurt or help our self-esteem, and what we believe about our own self-worth. What will you choose? Will you choose superficial confidence or real, deep, lasting satisfied confidence? I know what I chose and continue to choose.

 

 

How to Build Self Trust

Welcome to She’s Alive to Thrive. I'm Tiffany, therapist and certified confidence coach. These lessons I share are all the little nuggets of information I have learned, relearned, or have been helpful for my clients who are on their journey to being self-respecting, self-loving, strong women. 

 

Alright, so today I want to talk about one surprising thing that has really been a boost to self-trust. And of course, having self-trust is a building block to building confidence.

But first I want you to think about this friend. Think about a friend who always breaks their promises to you, who doesn’t show up for you when they said they will, who lies, and who is inconsistent with their actions and words. How would you feel about a friend like that? What would you think? Would you trust them? Or would you think to yourself “Yeah right”, “I won’t get my hopes up” I’ll believe it when I see it”?

 

And I want you to think about yourself. Have you done any of these? Just like your closest friends and family earned your trust, and in fact, they could lose it or do things that make you question your trust in them, it's the same with you. What does your track record look like with yourself? What do you think about the things that you promise to yourself and the word that you make to yourself? Would you like you as a friend to yourself if they behaved the way you behave towards you?

 

We don’t sometimes realize how much our own actions speak volumes to us and the more and more we behave in certain ways towards ourselves then it becomes not only who we think we are but also we are set a negative reputation with ourselves. And these actions can either build the trust we have within ourselves or break it.

 

So how can you begin to trust yourself more you say? It comes down to keeping your word. Keeping the promises you made to yourself, honoring your word to yourself as much as your word to someone else. Proving to yourself that your word to yourself is just as valuable and you are just as valuable as someone else. 

 

So today is a call to keep your word and honor the word that you gave to yourself. When I sat down to write a post or email I realized that I wasn't always consistent. I sometimes brushed it off like it could wait or that other things took priority. I sometimes felt because I was the only one holding myself accountable that it didn't matter because I was the only one I had to answer to. Or I would make up an excuse for why it didn’t matter.

 

It didn't occur to me that every time I sat down or didn’t that I was reinforcing a belief or behavior that either would help me or hurt me. The more I didn't show up the more I believed I was just lazy or didn't have the will to do it or even maybe that it wasn't the right thing to be doing. 

 

Now I know that it's much more important than that. Every time I show up and do what I set out to do I’m showing myself that I can trust my word. That I can trust that I will follow through for myself. Thay my word to myself is important and just as important as my word to anyone else. So here are a few steps to start practicing this. 

 

I want you to schedule something in your calendar that you've been putting off. Something small, something that will take less than an hour. And in this process, I want you to acknowledge and accept any resistance that comes up when it comes time to do it. Be kind to yourself in this process and know that some days you may feel like it and others you won't but you can be kind and understanding to yourself in the process anyway. Then I want you to do it. Then rinse and repeat. See how you feel about your word a week from now after continuously showing up for yourself and keeping your word to yourself. 

 

I want to hear from you. How will you honor your word to yourself this week? If this is something you struggle with I would love to have a quick chat to see what’s really getting in your way. Until next time Tiffany