The She’s Brave Podcast

Standing Up For YOU As An Introvert

On this episode of She’s Brave we’re joined by Celena McBryde, a heart healing speaker, coach, author, and the visionary woman behind The Introverts Heart. Celena is dedicated to helping individuals elevate their lives with that "EXTRA" and transform an ordinary existence into an EXTRAordinary journey. She’s also the founder of the Hearties fellowship group, where she brings people together virtually to combat loneliness and offer support, hope, and encouragement.

 

Even though Celena is an introvert, she knows what it’s like to become too isolated—and the unhealthy coping mechanisms it can lead to. Finally, she said “yes” to what God had been calling her to do, and everything changed. She started reaching out to others and realized how much they were in need of the connection and compassion she was looking for too.

 

It may not seem like it when you first meet her, but Celena has been through a lot in her life. She’s been through rehab and substance abuse issues, she’s gotten a DUI, and she spent a lot of time looking for validation from other people.

 

But if anything, her experiences have taught her that your experiences don’t define you. It’s what is in your heart that matters. You are enough, and you don’t need to earn it, even if you are different from those around you.

 

Just because introverts don’t say something doesn’t mean they don’t see or understand what’s going on. Learning to express herself and stand up for what she needs has helped her curb her people pleasing behaviors, and she encourages others who struggle in the same way to put themselves first too.

 

 

Connect with Celena

 

Website: www.introvertsheart.com

 

Social media (Instagram, FB, YouTube, TikTok): @TheIntrovertsHeart

 

How to Ask for What You Want

Are you tired of feeling like people walk all over you or that your needs aren't important? How often do you ask for what you want? Or does the thought of that makes you want to go running for the hills. 

Continuing on with our stepping out of your comfort zone theme for this month, I want to talk about asking for what you want and more specifically how to ask for what you want. 

 

Blog Post: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-what-you-want

Book Complimentary Call:https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

How to Break the Habit of Avoiding Confronation

We’ve all been there, had the pit in our stomach when we wanted to speak up, let someone know that they’ve crossed the line, or ask for what we want. But we rationalize not speaking up  in our head, “It’s not a big deal, “ “I’m overreacting”, or “It’s not worth all the trouble”. We make ourselves believe that it's just a one-time thing or that the other person will respond negatively. You have so much anxiety about the whole thing so you keep quiet and don’t say anything. And of course, with all the mental hubbub going on in your head, most people would brush these things off.

But where has that led you?

How to Overcome Low Self Esteem and Insecurities

If you’ve followed along on this insecurity series then you know we’ve talked about what insecurity is, and where it may have come from, and now for our final post, we’re talking about how to overcome low self-esteem and insecurities.

 

Let’s Connect!:

Website: www.aworthyjourneytc.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/aworthyjourneytc

Blog: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/

Book a Complimentary Call: https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

What Are the Causes of Insecurity?

Ok if you’ve read my posts about signs of insecurity you’re probably wondering what in the heck are the causes of insecurity and what do you do about it. Again, follow along this month as we break the last question down but for now, let's talk about what causes insecurity. 

 

Let's Connect!:

Website: www.aworthyjourneytc.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/aworthyjourneytc

Blog: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/

Book a Complimentary Call: https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

What is Insecurity?

Ever had that knot in your stomach, overwhelmed, anxious, sweating, unsure feeling? If so, you my friend have experienced being insecure. Insecurity can be a fleeting feeling, one that just comes around every now and then or it can be something that has become ingrained, deeply entrenched in you, and wreaking havoc on your life, your self-esteem, and your goals. 

If you fit in the latter description then this post is for you and the next few weeks are for you because we’re not only going to be answering questions like, “What is insecurity?” but why do you feel insecure, and what can you do about it.

Charmaine’s Story: From Feeling Not Good Enough to Deciding To Love Herself

In today's episode, I welcome guest Charmaine Moore. Charmaine is here to talk about building confidence, learning to be brave, and what it takes to transform your life. She is the founder of Face of Hope and Beauty Lifestyle Coaching.  In addition to that, Charmaine is also a wife, mother, inspirational speaker, self-love queen, and advocate for suicide prevention. Her mission is to empower women to stand in pace and power while enjoying the life that they live. She shares openly and honestly about a pivotal point in her life in 2014, two days before Mother's Day, when a decision she made changed her life profoundly.

Charmaine understands first-hand how challenging learning to love yourself can be. She has experienced depression, anxiety, rejection, and abandonment, as well as physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As a suicide survivor, she aims to help other women through Face of Hope and Beauty to transform their lives.

She shares the tools that she has found helpful in this transformation, such as showing yourself grace, using affirmations, seeing a therapist, practicing self-acceptance, and more.

It's important to know that you don't have to be perfect, and to give yourself permission not to be. Part of being brave is vulnerability, and vulnerability is accepting the parts of yourself that aren’t perfect. Be brave enough to show all parts of yourself.

Charmaine wants to reaffirm that you matter, and she encourages you to remind yourself of that. You can redefine yourself and write your own story. Reach out to someone you trust if you need help.

 

Connect with Charmaine:

Website: https://faceofhopeandbeauty.com

Instagram: @faceofhopeandbeaty

 

Connect with Tiffany:

Website: https://www.aworthyjourneytc.com/

Instagram: @aworthyjourneytc

 

Disclaimer:

In today’s podcast we talk about suicide, suicide ideations and thoughts of suicide. If this is something you struggle with this interview may be triggering for you and you may want to skip this episode. Reach out to a mental health counselor or the below resources for support if this is something that you struggle with as well.

 

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 988

Suicide Prevention Website: https://988lifeline.org/

Find A Therapist- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

 

Solo Trip: If interested, complete the below form if you are interested in stepping out of your comfort zone and doing a solo trip.  

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfGJ28YWYJRoDM3o9Mkt_E7X0PrCqgg-WHJXckA6K8RlR_lAg/viewform?usp=sf_link

Confidence Myths that Won’t Build Your Confidence

Girl alright so I didn't want to get started on this subject but I will. There is so much going around about confidence. We get advice like, ‘Fake it until you make it’ ‘Stand up tall’ ‘Walk into the room like you own it’  ‘All you need is the perfect outfit and makeup’  “Its all the shoes, what shoes you wear is an indicator of how much money you make”. 

 

And this is all wrong. And it leads us to believe that as long as our external appearance is taken care of and we're “pretending” to be confident then we will.  Yes, when you look good you do feel good and yes some of these things will help be SUPPLEMENTS to your confidence, but they aren't the foundation. Sorry in advance for the rant I’m about to make.

 

Want me to tell you what actually builds our confidence?  It is knowing and OWNING who you are, speaking your mind, and letting others know your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It's speaking up and standing by your own thought and opinions even when others disagree and it may be scary to speak up. It's having boundaries, limits, and standards for yourself. It is living your values and honoring them day to day in your daily actions, words, and behaviors. It is being assertive and standing up for your right to be who you are, respected, loved, and honored as you are now. 

 

It is creating your own path and trusting yourself that you will catch yourself if you fail. It is knowing your worth is not tied to anything or anyone external to you. It is knowing that only you and no one else can validate your worth. It is speaking up and showing up for yourself every single day. It is showing who you are to others even when it feels scary, vulnerable or you fear rejection. It is expressing and honoring your wants and needs. It is being kind to yourself and giving youse self grace. It is knowing that what you think and feel about yourself is the ONLY opinion that matters. It is taking risks. It is having integrity. 

 

And it's not a quick fix or overnight success, It takes work and practice. It takes failing and falling but never giving up on yourself. It takes persistence. It is a continuous process and by no means easy. But is possible and with practice, you can get there.

 

I know because I’ve gone through this journey myself and each and every day provides me an opportunity to practice the things above. The things we don't realize is that each time we make a decision it can hurt or help our self-esteem, and what we believe about our own self-worth. What will you choose? Will you choose superficial confidence or real, deep, lasting satisfied confidence? I know what I chose and continue to choose.

 

 

How to Build Self Trust

Welcome to She’s Alive to Thrive. I'm Tiffany, therapist and certified confidence coach. These lessons I share are all the little nuggets of information I have learned, relearned, or have been helpful for my clients who are on their journey to being self-respecting, self-loving, strong women. 

 

Alright, so today I want to talk about one surprising thing that has really been a boost to self-trust. And of course, having self-trust is a building block to building confidence.

But first I want you to think about this friend. Think about a friend who always breaks their promises to you, who doesn’t show up for you when they said they will, who lies, and who is inconsistent with their actions and words. How would you feel about a friend like that? What would you think? Would you trust them? Or would you think to yourself “Yeah right”, “I won’t get my hopes up” I’ll believe it when I see it”?

 

And I want you to think about yourself. Have you done any of these? Just like your closest friends and family earned your trust, and in fact, they could lose it or do things that make you question your trust in them, it's the same with you. What does your track record look like with yourself? What do you think about the things that you promise to yourself and the word that you make to yourself? Would you like you as a friend to yourself if they behaved the way you behave towards you?

 

We don’t sometimes realize how much our own actions speak volumes to us and the more and more we behave in certain ways towards ourselves then it becomes not only who we think we are but also we are set a negative reputation with ourselves. And these actions can either build the trust we have within ourselves or break it.

 

So how can you begin to trust yourself more you say? It comes down to keeping your word. Keeping the promises you made to yourself, honoring your word to yourself as much as your word to someone else. Proving to yourself that your word to yourself is just as valuable and you are just as valuable as someone else. 

 

So today is a call to keep your word and honor the word that you gave to yourself. When I sat down to write a post or email I realized that I wasn't always consistent. I sometimes brushed it off like it could wait or that other things took priority. I sometimes felt because I was the only one holding myself accountable that it didn't matter because I was the only one I had to answer to. Or I would make up an excuse for why it didn’t matter.

 

It didn't occur to me that every time I sat down or didn’t that I was reinforcing a belief or behavior that either would help me or hurt me. The more I didn't show up the more I believed I was just lazy or didn't have the will to do it or even maybe that it wasn't the right thing to be doing. 

 

Now I know that it's much more important than that. Every time I show up and do what I set out to do I’m showing myself that I can trust my word. That I can trust that I will follow through for myself. Thay my word to myself is important and just as important as my word to anyone else. So here are a few steps to start practicing this. 

 

I want you to schedule something in your calendar that you've been putting off. Something small, something that will take less than an hour. And in this process, I want you to acknowledge and accept any resistance that comes up when it comes time to do it. Be kind to yourself in this process and know that some days you may feel like it and others you won't but you can be kind and understanding to yourself in the process anyway. Then I want you to do it. Then rinse and repeat. See how you feel about your word a week from now after continuously showing up for yourself and keeping your word to yourself. 

 

I want to hear from you. How will you honor your word to yourself this week? If this is something you struggle with I would love to have a quick chat to see what’s really getting in your way. Until next time Tiffany

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

No matter who we are, we all do it. We compare our situations to others, we compare what we have, how we look, and who we are with other people. And this can lead to feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or in some cases inspiration.

 

And when you compare yourself to someone else it usually leaves you feeling not good enough, yearning for more. However, the more you compare yourself, the worse you feel about yourself. With each new person comes something different you can change, better you could be, and something different you could become.

 

But how do you break this cycle? How can you strive for excellence while still being appreciative and content with who you are? There are a few things I want to point out first. 

 

We are all so different

 

I think we forget or don't acknowledge how different we all are. All our lives and who we are are tailor-made to each of us based on our values, preferences, experiences, desires, goals, and priorities. 

 

When we look at someone or their life we are looking at a life that they created for them based on what they want and what they value. Your life is created based on what you want and value. It's unfair and unbalanced to compare someone else's life to yours because they can be so vastly different based on who you are and what you want. 

 

What they have might look nice but does it align with what you value and what you want your life to look like? If you had all the time, energy, and resources to do the things that they are doing would you? Or would it feel like a big waste of time or a chore? 

 

One thing I hear a lot is when people see others on social media on lavish vacations. They look at this person with envy(understandably so because who wouldn't want to be on a beautiful island instead of working in a cubicle) and wish they could be able to do the same. 

 

Now think about you and your style. If you had all the resources in the world, would you want to spend 8 hours traveling, and save thousands of dollars for a year or more to be able to afford an island vacation, do you even like beaches, or do you prefer the mountains, what does your best vacation look like? And the list can go on. 

 

What it comes down to is how does this fit with who you really are, what you really want, and are you willing to put in the work necessary to get that?  If no, then there may be something that is better suited for you, and no need to compare. We can acknowledge the beauty of it without it making us feel worst about ourselves. If yes, then how can we help you get closer to what you really want?

You will never be happy when you compare

 

When you compare yourself with someone else you will never be happy. There is always something to strive for or someone who has something that you don’t. The more you compare the more focused you are on what you don't have, how someone is “better”, and what is wrong. 

 

And when we focus on the negative after a while that's all our brain will see. You won't see the beauty that you do have that someone else doesn’t or the things that make you special and unique.

 

 You won’t see the things that you do have that others don't, the things that you actually admire and appreciate about yourself. How can you strive to be the best and most authentic version of yourself and strive for excellence in who YOU  are? 

 

Instead of trying to be like someone else or have what they have. How can you turn that attention and focus on yourself to be the best version of yourself or maybe even get to know yourself enough to know what will make you happy? 

 

A better solution

 

A better solution is to figure out who you are, and what you ACTUALLY want, and make a plan for getting the things that will actually fulfill you. 

 

When you chase after the things that other people have you are chasing an image, an ideal, and sometimes a desire. But how will these things actually fulfill you, make you feel happy and grateful? 

 

Focus on the things that actually bring you happiness and joy, not what society or everyone else has told you will bring you happiness and joy. 

 

When you are happy and content with the person you are and the life you have created for yourself, yes comparison and envy may creep in from time to time, but you will be so happy and content with the person you are and the life you’ve created that it won’t make you feel inferior or bring you down this dark hole of wishing you were different. 

 

So my biggest advice for you is this. Acknowledge the things that you want, get to know yourself and what you value and want for your life, and start taking small steps to make it a reality.

 

When you see yourself comparing,  take note of what the real desire is behind it and let go of the things that you know you really don't want but look nice. Acknowledge that you like what they have but don’t want it for yourself. The easiest combat for comparison is admiration and gratitude, you can admire what they have at the same time not make it mean anything about you or your worth. 

How does comparison benefit you? What do you hope to gain by comparing yourself to someone else? And how does it impact your happiness? We all want to be happy which is what makes comparison so easy and why we all do it. If you struggle with comparison and want to see how I can support you, book a complimentary consultation so we can see how I can support you. https://calendly.com/shesalivetothrive/complimentary-consultation